Please know this rant is directed at (and started by) online relationship tips, and the women I heard at the mall chatting about them…
I'm sick of certain women making the rest of us all look bad. I'm also sick of girl friend/wife stereotypes. No, I do not cry at the drop of a hat, and I expect you to mean what you say rather then tell me what society says women want to hear. If my ass looks fat - tell me, odds are I already know. I know there are a lot of other women out there like me, sick of Laguna Beach implying that women are always catty, materialistic, crazy bitches. However it has come to my attention that some girls really do suck, and make life very difficult for their significant other.
No ladies, he isn't going to know what you want unless you tell him – the same way he should tell me what he wants so I'll know. For as many women's magazines out there promoting constant communication we sure seem to screw that up! I'm tired of being lumped in with a bunch of other crappy girlfriends who manipulate to get what they want. Sorry ladies, I actually respect my boyfriend and his ability to process information.
Or these women I hear talking about with holding sex until they get something they want. What message is that sending, that women don't actually enjoy sex and only do it to keep the men well behaved? That's like saying, "Honey, I hate having sex but if you do something good I'll reward you with a good old fashioned date-rape!" – it's insane to me! Sex is a big part of communication in a relationship; it should never be used as a bargaining chip. Plus I actually like sex!
I mean I understand that if your partner has really and deeply hurt you, you're probably not sexually attracted to them at that point – and that's fair. But if you're with holding sex in order to prove a point or until you get that new whatever you want – well you're straight up whacked in the head and are only mind-fucking your relationship right into break up hell.
Also I'm sorry your boyfriend or husband doesn't send you flowers every month, but if you relate his feeling to the material objects he gives you, you're sadly mistaken. Sure, I feel happy when I get flowers but I feel even better when he just holds me and tells me how much he appreciates me and loves me. Also, the size of the diamond on the ring does not always directly correlate to the size of his love for you. It's directly correlates to his bank account and nothing else. We'd all love to get a huge rock, but let's not fool ourselves. The size of the ring doesn't mean your relationship is any more secure then anyone else's, other then financially. Again, there's nothing wrong with having a large diamond, but if that's all you two have going in your relationship then get out! And please stop judging the poor nice guys who can't buy you the huge rock, that doesn't mean he loves you less.
What happened to women respecting themselves? Or did that ever happen? These games and manipulations only further the social misconception that women relate their self-worth to men. Don't get me wrong, I love being in a relationship but we deserve equal amounts of respect and honesty. If I'm unhappy I should never play games, I should express myself as a person. This is not to say I've never fallen into the girlfriend game trap, but let's all call each other on it and maybe most of us could knock it off!
I know we all love to get girly and sexy, but why do some women dumb themselves down? Why do we think that acting intelligently isn't sexy? If a potential partner is intimidated my intelligence, I'm glad to know sooner then later – as I don't want to spend the entire relationship playing dumb. Also, if you're a major bitch, don't be surprised if he's a jerk right back at you. That drives me insane. I know I couple where she spends all her time degrading him and yelling at him. The one time he stands up for himself and treated her the way she had been treating him, he was labeled an asshole by her and all her girl friends. What the hell? This girl is not a big fan of me after I shared my opinion with her. But seriously, tit for tat honey. If you can act like that why should he be required to behave any differently? Just because he's a man doesn't mean he deserves constant torment from the person who is supposed to love him. Ever heard of mutual respect? It works wonders in a relationship. I wouldn't expect my girlfriends to stay with someone who screamed at them all the time, why should you expect him too?
All you ladies who agree with me, who respect yourselves and your partners, thank you. And please know that this rant was NOT directed at you. Let's spread the knowledge. Women don't have to play into these roles in order to get attention from their mates, though practically all the media out there that involves a relationship shows us otherwise. But the old ball and chain jokes aren't funny anymore. A relationship should be a beautiful and equal thing. A relationship shouldn't completely change who you are, it should enhance who you already are.
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