Single Lady no more, I'm engaged!

In early December 2008 we were out with our friends. I was dancing with a few girls to 'Single Ladies' by Beyonce. The dance from the video includes a move where you shake your ring finger while the line "If you liked it, you should have put a ring on it" is sung. During the ring-finger shake move I informed my friends that I was the only one who should be doing that dance as I was the only one without a ring on that finger.

So on Christmas morning while opening Christmas presents I unwrapped Beyonce's 'I am... Sasha Fierce' and thought "oh yay! I like that one dance song".The CD was shrink-wrapped and everything. Then Morgan says, "well, go on and open it, I want to hear that 'Single Ladies' song".

To be honest I was sort of like, "...OK whatever, It's 9am and you want to listen to dance music?". Despite my confusion I went ahead and opened the CD. Inside Morgan had removed the double CD, placed a note reading Will You Marry Me? and put the beautiful ring inside. I'm no longer a Single Lady! We proceeded to hug, cry and kiss. In honor of that here's this kid dancing to that video:

Vagina: It's not a clown car!

You've probably heard of the Duggar's. The religious nuts with 18 children who have their own show on TLC (which I find especially ironic since they don't allow the children to watch tv, just be followed around by camera crews). The girls don't cut their hair and must always wear skirts. Yeah, it's totally normal. Anyhow, they just welcomed their 18th child. On their show we were introduced to the families democratic process of allowing all the children to vote for the name of the new baby girl. See, they all start with the letter 'J', so it gets tricky. Anyhow, the clip ended up on Jezebel (name idea?)... and the comments are absolutely amazing. I'll share a few.

"Oh. Goodness. I see Jayzee on the list. Why God, WHY didn't they name her JAYZEE?!?"

"Did you see Jinger rolling her eyes when her brother and his wife joked about picking a new "letter" for their future children? Seriously we've gotta break that one out!"

"I love the little boy who wants to name his sister Juicy Fruit."

Last, my personal favorite, which mirrors my own reaction to the Duggar's:

"every time I see these people my vagina clamps up and refuses to open until I have changed the channel."

View the clip and read the rest of comments on Jezebel

Homeboy wore combat boots to the beach

...and yet, I still love him.

What is it about this douchebag, Mr. Justin Bobby? He manages to make Audrina interesting, is apparently a hairdresser, surfer, lead singer and fashionesta in his own right. Yet Hills fans have a true love/hate with this guy. Me, I love him.

Ode to Beeker.

As a child my mother insistently listened to classical music (I assume she still does, I'm just no longer forced to listen). Despite my annoyance I did develop a love for it. However, I think these videos could have done a much better job at making me appreciate the craftsmanship behind Ode to Joy and The Blue Danube Waltz then the afternoons with *NPR's Lora Black ever did. Enjoy.


*I notate NPR because after googling Lora Black I noticed she shares the name with a popular porn star. While I'm sure both Lora's deserve recognition, I didn't want you to assume my mother messed me up quite that badly.

Thanks for the bang Miss Page.

I'm so sad Bettie Page died today. With out her I never would have delved into the glory that is bangs. Thanks for the bang Bettie, I do love it so.

The beautiful Bettie:


My Bettie inspired bang from last year... and my friend Derek, who I'm sure also loved Bettie Page.

Worst person ever or pleasantly sardonic?

I'm a project associate and web programmer in the world of juvenile court advocacy. I travel around with professionals who train caseworkers, lawyers and judges about the best ways to help children in the court system. Often it seems they're preaching to the choir. If I thought it was OK to smack around my baby I probably wouldn't have taken a job in child advocacy. Just a thought. Anyhow, I was sitting through a presentation on child neurological development for about the 7th time. The presenter then reached the most ridiculous power point slide of all time. Big black bold letters reading "DON'T HIT CHILDREN". At this point I turn to my co-worker and mutter, "Yeah, they might have guns". I realize the intent of the slide was to be striking (pun intended), but seriously, this room knows not to hit children. It deserved a joke, I swear. My co-worker, however, disagreed. "Elllsssss, that's not funny! Kids are getting beat everyday!" Yes, as if I am OK with that. Hearing about child abuse everyday is darn depressing, every once in awhile I need to make a borderline inappropriate joke. Also I would make the case that a lot of kids DO have guns. Just food for thought.

Did Paris Hilton watch Eyes Wide Shut one too many times?

OK, was it me or did the Paris Hilton's My New BFF finale not totally resemble the ball scene from Labyrinth or the masquerade party from Eyes Wide Shut? CREEPY! Although, it slightly makes being her best friend seem more appealing. Frankly, I like her more now.

Here's the Paris Finale:

Eyes Wide Shut:

Labyrinth:


I left the 'You Have No Power Over Me' to remind Paris' new BFF of what she can chant around 4am at Tao to break the heiresses vodka-redbull induced spell.