Morgan and I have had our little fire crotch for a year this month! In honor of her first year in our home here is a video of her with one of our other favorite things, the turntables.
November 26, 2008
November 25, 2008
You're going to need another hole if you eat all those leafy greens.
The below story 100% brightened my day. Last year I tried to switch from Vogue and Cosmo to Woman's Health and Shape because I thought they would focus more on health and inspire me. WRONG. Also, they're squats didn't tone my ass in 3 weeks as promised.
3 Ways Women's Fitness Magazines Destroy The Soul
By Anna N. for Jezebel.com
1:20 PM on Mon Nov 24 2008
Here at Jezebel, we really want to cover fitness magazines. We buy Shape and Self, we read them... and somehow, our brains run dry. After hours of concentrated thought (translation: long plane flight), we've figured out why it's so hard to talk to you about Glamour and Vogue's sweatier sisters. It's because they're actually worse than fashion mags. Sure, they claim to focus less on looking hot and spending money and more on feeling good, but in reality they make us feel bad — not just about ourselves, but about the very concept of human life. Three reasons fitness mags fill us with existential despair, using December Shape as our exemplar, after the jump.
1. They're boring. You know that friend who goes on a diet and then talks about nothing else? Fitness mags are like that friend, except the diet (and exercise plan) lasts forever. At least Glamour has stories about bipolar boyfriends and kept women in foreign countries to break up all the expensive shit. But in this month's Shape, even the sex feature is all about exercising and eating leafy greens. Hot.
2. They treat food like an enemy. Sure, fashion magazines have diet tips, but these are mere skirmishes compared to fitness magazines' nuclear war. Shape's editor says in this month's letter that the holidays are a time to enjoy food. But a few pages later, Shape calls this time of year a "diet danger zone" and baked potatoes a "fat and calorie minefield." Cheesecake is not a guy with a grenade hiding in your fridge. It's just a food. Eat it — or don't. But don't take Shape's bizarre and difficult advice and measure out your portion with a shot glass.
3. They remind you of your mortality. Look, times are hard. Everyone is worried. The last thing we want is to remember that our health is extremely tenuous and the most innocent-seeming habits might kill us. Unfortunately, fitness magazines have to put out an issue every month, so they need a constant supply of newer, weirder health scares. Shape's latest: petting your dog. It won't give you a cold, but it could give you E. coli. So play it safe and wrap your entire body in plastic. Cut two holes. One is for shoving in leafy greens. The other is for sex, but only because it's good for you.
3 Ways Women's Fitness Magazines Destroy The Soul
By Anna N. for Jezebel.com
1:20 PM on Mon Nov 24 2008
Here at Jezebel, we really want to cover fitness magazines. We buy Shape and Self, we read them... and somehow, our brains run dry. After hours of concentrated thought (translation: long plane flight), we've figured out why it's so hard to talk to you about Glamour and Vogue's sweatier sisters. It's because they're actually worse than fashion mags. Sure, they claim to focus less on looking hot and spending money and more on feeling good, but in reality they make us feel bad — not just about ourselves, but about the very concept of human life. Three reasons fitness mags fill us with existential despair, using December Shape as our exemplar, after the jump.
1. They're boring. You know that friend who goes on a diet and then talks about nothing else? Fitness mags are like that friend, except the diet (and exercise plan) lasts forever. At least Glamour has stories about bipolar boyfriends and kept women in foreign countries to break up all the expensive shit. But in this month's Shape, even the sex feature is all about exercising and eating leafy greens. Hot.
2. They treat food like an enemy. Sure, fashion magazines have diet tips, but these are mere skirmishes compared to fitness magazines' nuclear war. Shape's editor says in this month's letter that the holidays are a time to enjoy food. But a few pages later, Shape calls this time of year a "diet danger zone" and baked potatoes a "fat and calorie minefield." Cheesecake is not a guy with a grenade hiding in your fridge. It's just a food. Eat it — or don't. But don't take Shape's bizarre and difficult advice and measure out your portion with a shot glass.
3. They remind you of your mortality. Look, times are hard. Everyone is worried. The last thing we want is to remember that our health is extremely tenuous and the most innocent-seeming habits might kill us. Unfortunately, fitness magazines have to put out an issue every month, so they need a constant supply of newer, weirder health scares. Shape's latest: petting your dog. It won't give you a cold, but it could give you E. coli. So play it safe and wrap your entire body in plastic. Cut two holes. One is for shoving in leafy greens. The other is for sex, but only because it's good for you.
November 21, 2008
I'm so excited I just blued myself.
The Watch with Kritin crew on eonline just confirmed there WILL be a Arrested Development movie!! Heck yes! Except... one of the actors is holding out. My guess is Michael Cera, and that's the word on the street too. I would guess that Juno went to his head, though he's played his AR role of George Micheal in literally every movie he's been in. Talk about range. I love the kid, but I hope he does this movie or my respect will drop (and I'm sure my respect means a lot to him). Here nor there, I'm pumped the rest of the cast will be assembling.
Meet the face of death:
Denny Duquette, Judah Botwin, William, Detective Cole Davies. Jeffrey Dean Morgan has spent much of his acting career either playing a dead guy, replacing a dead guy or chasing a dead guy. It occurred to me last night while the ghost of Denny was fucking Dr Izzie Stevens that this guy gets to barely memorize lines, smile (melt!), and do a sex scene with a smoking hot actress. He does the exact same thing on one of my other favorite shows, Weeds, during multiple flash back scenes. What a sweet gig! In PS I Love You (a over-the-top estrogen fest glorifying the death of a husband) Jeffrey plays the guy who falls in love with the widow, replacing the dead guy. Again: 1.)smile 2.)have a sex scene with a beautiful woman. Good for him. As Detective Cole Davis in Chasing Ghosts Jeffery is chasing a murderous dead guy. Not as romantic and arguably harder to sell as an actor, but still death-based.
Who knew the face of death would be so chiseled?
November 20, 2008
Dr. Asperger and those silly interns
I love how Grey's fans are current up in arms about the "ridiculous" and "crazy" things the writers have been doing this season. Um, It's Grey's Anatomy. It's one step from "General Hospital" and always has been. That's why we love it, it's a soap with slightly better writing, foreshadowing song titles as episode titles, a better soundtrack and significantly more famous actors. Hello, it's always been over the top. Several of the main characters have died and remain on the show.
I'll admit I do wonder how they'll tie up this weeks Izzie/Denny sexcapade, seeing as he's dead and all. I suspect she's has a nice vibrator and a brain tumor. Everyone who comes on that show has a brain tumor. They should really get the water checked or something. Anyhow, the more over the top, borderline jumping the shark, it gets the more motivated I am to watch.
Also, Christina clearly caring about Dr. Torres when she's losing it in the operating room - a bit out of character right? With the arrival of uber-ANNOYING Sadie (can they kill her off with a giant brain tumor - for real - please?) is Christina beginning the search for a new bestie? God, I hope not.
Get your wine (fine, Franzia) and ice cream ready - I think it's going to be a big one.
I'll admit I do wonder how they'll tie up this weeks Izzie/Denny sexcapade, seeing as he's dead and all. I suspect she's has a nice vibrator and a brain tumor. Everyone who comes on that show has a brain tumor. They should really get the water checked or something. Anyhow, the more over the top, borderline jumping the shark, it gets the more motivated I am to watch.
Also, Christina clearly caring about Dr. Torres when she's losing it in the operating room - a bit out of character right? With the arrival of uber-ANNOYING Sadie (can they kill her off with a giant brain tumor - for real - please?) is Christina beginning the search for a new bestie? God, I hope not.
Get your wine (fine, Franzia) and ice cream ready - I think it's going to be a big one.
November 19, 2008
I bet Jesus would love pop music the most.
Although I'm not a Christian I follow the norm and celebrate the shit out of Christmas. I'll admit it, I love love love Christmas music. Go on, judge me.
Here are this weeks picks for my favorite Christmas tunes:
My Only Wish (this year) - Britney Spears
All I want for Christmas is You - Mariah Carey
Santa Baby - Kylie Minogue
Last Christmas - wait for it... wait for it... Wham!
November 18, 2008
Delusional Blondes, my new obsession
As my life grows ever more pathetic I have found myself watching Bravo's "The Real House Wives of Atlanta". I could never get into the Orange County gals, they were just boring and rich. These Atlanta wives, however, are one hot mess. Kim Zociak is my favorite as she seems the most ridiculous. Here she is in all her glory:
She is an aspiring county singer who couldn't carry a tune if it was in a backpack. Her "famous" boyfriend refuses to be revealed so she refers to him only as Big Papa while she spends all of his money. She refuses red wine saying she doesn't want to stain her teeth while she's smoking - her children correct her and she lets them know to stop talking. Lastly, and my personal favorite, she believes she's a black woman trapped in a white woman's body. Two favorite Kim quotations:
"I’m a black girl trapped in a white girls body…Tyra, I was drinking when I said that. I have a lot of African American friends. It just works for me."
"I’m going to keep Big Papa a secret because I’ve seen what can happen to public relationships-like Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson."
According to Jezebel.com Kim's Big Papa isn't so much a celebrity as a married guy:
"According to numerous blind items and internet rumors, Kim's boyfriend isn't really a celebrity, but rather a well-known figure in the Atlanta community. The gossip is that he's a wealthy commercial real estate developer, who is neither white nor black, and who prefers to remain a mystery because he's married. In the second episode of the season, Kim's BlackBerry screen is revealed and she has a number of text messages from someone named Lee, including this message: 'Miss U.' Astute viewers have surmised that this man must be Lee Najjar. His wife is ironically named Kim"
She is an aspiring county singer who couldn't carry a tune if it was in a backpack. Her "famous" boyfriend refuses to be revealed so she refers to him only as Big Papa while she spends all of his money. She refuses red wine saying she doesn't want to stain her teeth while she's smoking - her children correct her and she lets them know to stop talking. Lastly, and my personal favorite, she believes she's a black woman trapped in a white woman's body. Two favorite Kim quotations:
"I’m a black girl trapped in a white girls body…Tyra, I was drinking when I said that. I have a lot of African American friends. It just works for me."
"I’m going to keep Big Papa a secret because I’ve seen what can happen to public relationships-like Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson."
According to Jezebel.com Kim's Big Papa isn't so much a celebrity as a married guy:
"According to numerous blind items and internet rumors, Kim's boyfriend isn't really a celebrity, but rather a well-known figure in the Atlanta community. The gossip is that he's a wealthy commercial real estate developer, who is neither white nor black, and who prefers to remain a mystery because he's married. In the second episode of the season, Kim's BlackBerry screen is revealed and she has a number of text messages from someone named Lee, including this message: 'Miss U.' Astute viewers have surmised that this man must be Lee Najjar. His wife is ironically named Kim"
November 3, 2008
Thing One, Thing Two and Ron Jeremy.
What a lovely Halloween I had! It's my favorite holiday and didn't let me down yet again. Frances and I portrayed Dr. Suess's Thing One and Thing Two, while my tasteful boyfriend became the infamous Ron Jeremy.
And then my parents stopped by to share in some Picasso-esque photos :)
And then my parents stopped by to share in some Picasso-esque photos :)
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