What is it about skanks in the fall?

I faithfully watch America's Next Top Model, Paris Hilton's BFF and Rock of Love: Charm School (probably the most despicable). I don't know why. I would like to say that watching makes me feel better about myself, and while that's true (who doesn't seem better in comparison?), it can't be the only reason I tune in. Technically these shows stand for everything I hate. Objectifying women, encouraging women to exploit themselves for attention, preaches that sex is a woman's most powerful tool (in that crowd, hello STDs!), and that fame is something that be gained solely by bad behavior. Not only do these shows "stand" for those principals, they seem to be proving them true. I mean I actually know who Heather is. I know she has a "Bret" tattoo on her neck. I know who she is because she behaves like a 3 year old, is unnervingly open about her sexuality and most likely has the clap at any given moment. It worked. Being a skank made her famous.

I'm no closer to knowing what it is about these train wrecks that keep me watching, but whatever it is it's powerful shit. Powerful, depressing, shit.

Frozen yogurt and boxed wine

I look like Ugly Betty, only slightly better dressed.

Is 3:00pm too early on a Tuesday to drink?

I'll be watching Shaun of the Dead, eating frozen yogurt (yep, still dieting) and downing some Franzia if anyone needs me.

Embarrassing High School Moments, Post College

Tomorrow I get braces. Yep, old school, metal, in your face braces. I also weigh more then I have ever weighed before. I'm going to be one sexy bitch. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't exactly gorgeous in high school. I was a bit chunky, dressed like a ho, wore too much make-up and usually had some sort of bad dye job in the hair department. But all of those things were self-derived. I didn't face the torture of dental accessories, severe acne or anything of the like. This is new to me.

I have been dieting like there is no tomorrow, but my always slow metabolism seems to have come to a complete halt. I had lost three pounds, but one night of screw drivers and Old Style seems to have completely reversed three weeks of dieting. And now I get braces. I'll be living every high school girls nightmare. I'm a fatty brace face.

Now I have some hope I can carry this off with a little class. I dress much better then I ever did high school. My hair is shiny and healthy. I'm even working on smiling with my mouth closed (right now I still look like I'm doing some sort of "John McCain wincing" impression). I'm still dieting and working on that screw drivers and Old Style habit. Perhaps I can still be decently attractive with braces and an extra 20 pounds. If nothing else, I'll dig into every fat girls reserve. I'll distract them with my boobs.

The cheerleader is growing on me.

Confused by this whole economy thing?

I love business and economics, mainly because I'm a dork. Despite the fact that I love these topics recent events have been somewhat confusing to me. I found these podcasts (or just audio downloads if you're sans ipod) VERY helpful.

Of course, they're from NPR, but then I'm a public radio addict too...

The Giant Pool of Money: explains the housing crisis, the hows and the whys
http://www.thislife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?sched=1242


Another Frightening Show About the Economy: explains what's in the bail out plan, what the store for us, and so forth.
http://www.thislife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=365


There are also transcripts available if listening isn't your thing. You can also find them on itunes, FOR FREE!

I can't even disappoint my mother properly...

The debates were on ABC. No new Grey's until next week. Morgan just HAD to watch them.

And to add torture to my pain, Palin didn't fail miserably. She wasn't awesome, but she wasn't awesomely bad either. oh poo.

My mother will be so dissappointed...

to find out I plan on watching Grey's Anatomy and The Office(online) rather then the vice presidential debates. Look, I watched the presidential debates. I sat through all of Palin's PAINFUL interview with Katie Couric. I listen to NPR. I check the CNN, MSNBC, BBC and occasionally even the Fox News websites. Frankly, I know who I'm voting for already. I'm not a crucial swing vote. There is little Palin could do to make me like her... other then to renounce basically everything she believes in.

Let's be honest, the good parts will be run on the news over and over to point where I have spent more time watching a 1 minute clip of the debate then it would have taken to watch to watch all 90. In fact, I'm sure I'll get sucked into reading the full manuscript tomorrow on CNN.com.

Biden will look like a jerk; Palin will look like an idiot. shocking.

My raging liberal, freedom fighting mother will be so disappointed in me. But, I just have to know what's happening with MerDer, Izzie and the Seattle Grace crew. I mean who can sleep another night with out full assurance that Jim and Pam will be together forever? There will be just as much drama (well, maybe a little less) on scripted network t.v. tonight. It's just less stressful to watch fake drama.

Sorry mom. I just can't do it tonight.

Freak the Me

So I really like Halloween right? No biggie.

I bought some Halloween window clings for my office to celebrate. While shopping my friend and I uncovered an especially gruesome window cling of bloody handprints and the word 'help' written in blood. I, of course, purchased it for window at home, knowing it was a bit much for the office. When I returned from lunch I put up my work appropriate clings, but I was still very excited about my bloody find. I showed the bloody handprints to two of my nearby co-workers. HOLY GOD! The look they gave me. It was as if I was displaying a "I enjoy kicking babies in the face" poster. Their reaction actually prompted me to say, "Oh, it's not real blood!!" as if that was really in question.

Hrumph.